A LETTER TO YOU FROM SATAN

My Friend,

I saw you yesterday as you began your daily chores. You awoke without kneeling to pray. As a matter of fact, you didn't even bless your meals, or pray before going to bed last night. You are so unthankful, I like that about you. I cannot tell you how glad I am that you have not changed your way of living. You are mine.

Remember, you and I have been going steady for years, and I still don't love you yet. As a matter of fact, I hate you, because I hate God. He kicked me out of heaven, and I'm going to use you as long as possible to pay him back. You see, GOD LOVES YOU and HE has great plans in store for you. But you have yielded your life to me, and I'm going to make your life a living hell. That way, we'll be together twice. This will really hurt God. Thanks to you, I'm really showing Him who's boss in your life with all of the good times we've had.

We have been watching dirty movies, cursing, stealing, lying, being hypocritical, fornicating, overeating, telling dirty jokes, gossiping, being judgmental, back stabbing people, disrespecting adults and those in leadership positions, no respect for the Church, and/or bad attitudes. SURELY you don't want to give all this up. Come on let's burn together forever. I've got some hot plans for us.

This is just a letter of appreciation from me to you. I'd like to say 'THANKS' for letting me use you for most of your foolish life. You are so gullible, I laugh at you. When you are tempted to sin, you give in.

Although I’m proud of you, I need new blood. So go ahead and teach some children how to sin. All you have to do is smoke, get drunk, cheat, gamble, gossip, fornicate, and live as selfishly as possible. Do all of this in the presence of children and they will do it too. Kids are like that. I'll be there every couple of seconds to tempt you again.

As always,
Satan